strangest dream

with you in it. again.
must've been the full moon that brought it on, according to my mother.




you meant so much more to me than most people know, and may ever know (unless they read this).
you were so much more than just a friend to me. you know?
there it is.



let's just walk through my five steps and get it over with once and for all, m'kay?

first: I still can't believe your presence will no longer fill up a room. You were so alive.
second: You "gave up"? How could you? Mountain climber--I almost refuse to believe it. And damn it all if you didn't go and break my heart twice.
third: I would give anything if I could go back and tell you, face to face, everything that I felt at that time. Be brave.
fourth: Some nights I still fall asleep crying. I can't believe I still do, but there it is.
fifth: This step has been mulled over out loud so many times, I hardly feel the need to repeat it.

i think i'll regret putting this out there, but it was twisting and tugging at my heart. i couldn't bear it.



































there.
no more from me until i've been able to digest the second first week of studies.

-d