you know when you walk into a library and you find the book you want, you find somewhere moderately comfortable to sit, and the chair makes a weird noise every time you move because of the weird leathery material so you try not to move and then you get lost in the book? and when you move your leg and the noise of the chair causes you to fidget and you look up at the clock and you realize that the library's about to close? and as you're getting ready to leave the librarian's voice scares you all the way out of your daze by saying that the library's closing, and you force your tired facial muscles into a pulling a smile that is barely recognizable from a blank expression and say "i know, i was just leaving" and you have to put the book back on the shelf because you forgot your library card? and the next time you come back, the book has been checked out by someone else, and you have that distinct feeling that it was one of those people who leaves books on their desks, gathering dust and numerous bills on top, and doesn't turn books back in on time?

i thought everything would work itself out and nothing seemed so bad.

i am re-reading this story knowing the ending, but i do it anyway. these pages are so dog-eared that you'd think they tear, but the binding surprisingly stays...bound. things could be a lot worse.

it still feels like i've stopped dancing, stopped running, i'm stumbling in some-sort-of-drunk stupor.

it's more emotion overpowering me than actual situation, than anything.

i'm a little overwhelmed.