bubble waffle

Do I like them more because of the texture

The little pops I can sink my teeth into instead of squares

And finding they're less hollow

And still filled with sweet dough
Sink my teeth into squares

Sink my teeth into squares

Why does it get harder and harder to stop myself the older and older I get

What have I let go
What have I abandoned

What have I killed

What have I let

Why doesn't this unlock every time I listen to him ramble like the Columbia without a dam in sight

Like nothing as dark and rich as his voice has turned on that light before

What is it about the sun that kills my cave creature interior

Why can't I walk this way easier

Why do I always feel inferior to you

I've always felt that way but before I could buoy myself knowing that despite that fact you still wanted me

You, wanted ME

Do you still want me? Still need me?

I'm nipping at the edges of what I know

I can't plan a wedding

I can't curb a craving

I need sugar

I need sleep

I need to go lift more weights

Lift more weight upon my shoulders

Oh what a soft cross to bear

I wish I could wrap you up in my giant fallen angel wings, I know they're there

Describe them for me

Describe the softness of my thighs for me

Describe my legs, my somewhat cut calves, my shoulders,

Describe my neck for me

Describe my jawline, what it was and what it is

Oh take me up on it, I'll fill in my neck below it with tattoos just to make sure it's still there

going home from work early on the springiest day of the year so far

blind the way it sounded

heard the way i found it

sorry i haven't been writing a lot lately,

i've been living, but also deep in debt, but also watching a lot of Trek.

war cry

No sympathy for transphobes

No pride in genocide

Arm the working classes

Keep your eyes open wide

on not getting into the MLIS

quoting "Billboard Heart by Deep Sea Diver:

I'm welcoming the future / by letting go of it 

 

misheard lyrics

Christ-like nightshade

about me

i am dedicated to memory

i am dedicated to the preservation of memory

in service of community bonding

in service of wonder and awe

in service of curiosity

in service of informing our path to the future

i am dedicated to remembering

i am dedicated to memory

near s court st

four blue houses in a row

all the color of the sea unfolding

sleep apnea

y'know

i really hate when other people are right about,

or think they're right before i'm aware of something wrong about,

MY body.

it makes me feel like my astral self left and dissolved somewhere.

like a ghost without anchor.

i have no AGENCY. ANYWHERE. existing is hard enough.

maybe i should fix the problem by walking into traffic, there's always that old chestnut.

unhome

for a brief moment in the timeline of my life,

i got to feel at home in my body.

not even a full year.

will i ever get that back? i owe $5,000 because i wanted to remodel this house, and for what? waste of an investment.

and how am i supposed to be a home for you, now? and how am i supposed to be a home for a family?

i'm a lonely, abandoned, rotting church. i'm nobody's home. i feel like the rats that use it for shelter and nothing else.