sorry, with your permission?

needed change, finally.

so i rejected coins and tried the bike again. it hurt today, i don't know why. it's going to take some getting used to. i want to try to tackle it again tomorrow, before i fishtail and fall and it tackles me.

i rejected coins, and actually, willingly, drove myself to supercuts, picture in hand and the word "texturized" poised on my tongue, and got bangs. and the ends texturized. 

i'm quite pleased. the bangs look a bit like amélie, and that made me happy.

as to dancing...multiple songs in a row, on more than one occasion, with one sir. and more aerials than i have ever performed in one session. those, plus my assistance in skylar's demonstration of the superdip (and bob's attempt soon after--"it helps that you're light"), left me with a small bruise that is resting on the right side of my upper ribcage from where i was gripped (and tossed, and flung). but this also makes me happy--i'm glad i can be tossed so easily. only in this sense, of course.

did i feel sexy tonight? not yet. it'll get there; i'll work this look. i did wear lotion that smelled of mango, and shampoo that smelled like oranges, and hand sanitizer that smelled of nectarine mint--citrus ambrosia in jeans and a white t-shirt. 

the night ended up as four bodies in a booth at applebeezy's with a quesadilla, a bowl of pasta, and quite a few fries on the table (and honey mustard to satisfy my current addiction). dear, if there's anything else you need to talk with me about, please do. i know i talk quite a lot, but i'm very capable of listening. maybe not as capable as problem-solving, but i have ears, and they are connected to my head, so anytime, dear. anytime.

aside: i have never looked at you more and desired you less. this also makes me happy; that i can handle being around you. i'm not mad at you, no, sir; i saw a side of you that i dearly liked, and a side of you that disgusted me a little. happens when i view a lot of people, just never people i've kissed. oh...wait. i can look on you with indifference, and sure, now and again those merry sprites, adequately christened "attraction" and "affection," may fly and flutter about my sense and senses, but they have shrunk considerably in size and power. must be something in the water in never-neverland.

i now long for another blues party to attend. that may not happen again for quite some time, though, and unfortunately so.

okay day. good night. i wish something dramatic happened tonight, but other than running into skylar's arm almost every time i danced with him (and him carrying me to and from the dance floor in one case), no event occurred which i could eloquently dress up in crepe and lace and feather boas. i mean, vocabulary.

sleep is an evident need at this point.

-d