thoughts, of violet-dyed bed linens, that smell like mint nectarines

it's been so hot and muggy and the air is thick and busy, and i haven't felt real inspiration to write a lot lately because all fantasies and pipe/daydreams are narrowed to the next season, and even more so than usual, the season after that. i don't want one-hundred-plus degrees while sastifying the craving for lemonade and thus retaining chapped lips and dehydration, and running from building to building just to get inside and bask in the cold blasting energy of the air conditioner, although these are some small pleasures. of course, five months from now, i will be grumbling about dirty snow and grayness and how everything is cold and wet, and how too much cocoa gives me a headache, but this year, at least, i won't have to worry myself with a car, which will make winter fifty percent more enjoyable, i think.

i do want fall. it's a safe season. if there is a play, any flight of fancy that takes off in my head won't stay in the air--no autumn crush has sustained itself thus far in my pitiable record of so-called "romantic" success. colors are turning, and there is grayness to contrast it. i will be in a university town, where there are brick buildings and the wind hurries along faster than the rest of us and the school colors include an appropriate shade of maroon. i will be uprooted, but planted near a broken bough, which will give me great comfort; i will be in the company of amazing friends and crazy-talented people. i absolutely cannot wait. and hopefully i will have my mother's own turntable sitting in the corner of my dorm, turning out the melancholy sounds of steel strings and dubbed voices that is bon iver. i will be allowed into the fullness of my own element, finally, and while i may be blinded by first opening my eyes and ears in a relatively unfamiliar new world, i will eventually thrive.

i absoballylutely cannot wait.

for now, i am content with the fact that i go dancing every wednesday night, and that there is another blues party this saturday.

-d