in other news

This is weird. Having no real crushes or strong attractions to anyone is weird. I think it means that either it really is time for me to get out of here as soon as graduation passes by, or that my libido is at an all-time low, if I'm going to be completely honest.

Icarus has started. Since Thursday, it feels like time has sped up. I'm not sure how much I want this to be over. I was feeling really good about our opening night performance until my friend, who'd been working concessions that night, said, "Yeah, like, four people walked out." SHUT UP. Way to be negative. This is my moment. This is my time. This is my only freaking mainstage production in this program and just because you didn't get into any this year doesn't mean you have to make me feel bad about it. Our show is beautiful and unique, and there will never be another one like it, not with this cast, or crew, or design team. I'm glad that this is the only mainstage show I've ever been cast in; I couldn't have asked to have been part of a better, wackier, and more dedicated group of people. What a journey it's been. Yeah, people walked out during last night's performance, too--that doesn't really bother me; they're wasting their own money. Don't try to bring me down. You aren't always right.

I will never have to slog through another winter quarter after a couple of weeks, although making it through another winter without some of these people will prove tough going.

My brother texted me yesterday from the airport in Salt Lake City. He is currently in Las Vegas for some ultimate frisbee thing. I am utterly jealous that he made it there before I did.

After we finish Icarus up in Seattle the first weekend of spring quarter, I think I'll try to make it to the rec center a few times a week for rock climbing. I should get into it; it's something I've always wanted to do, I admire the people who do it well, I need to build my upper body strength like mad, and hey, it'll give my brother and I something to talk about when we're living under the same roof next year, at least.

Seriously, is this what being asexual feels like? Or am I just so frustrated that I've given up on anyone here? Okay, enough about that. It gets weird in this place when I write about that.

I want to go back to warm May nights, when the only thing that would play in my car's speakers was Boxer. I want a guy who likes The National as much as I do. I know of three. Out of the three, I've only ever crushed on one, and unfortunately, he's off being successful on the East Coast.

It's late. I really need to sleep. Rest my voice for Monday.