…oh.

when you have enough bourbon,

the perma-blush on the apples of your cheeks blooms

and blends in under the red light.

i've never paid for the table's drinks before,

    and i know y'all paid me back,

but it was still worth it.

it was worth the walk all over the center hill,

that view! over the lake and across,

    the lights plucking strings in my

        hollow chest yet again.

        I'm still in love with this city, i told you. 

            No matter what else, what shit, I keep coming back to it.

        "Like a sick dog," you replied. that hit me.

worth the seemingly endless stairs cutting through the trees,

    that sodium-orange,

    the lightness of your feet,

        new to me,

            and welcomed

            and a little familiar somehow.

we stopped at your favorite view of the needle. Ah, damn.

there was an ease you wore around me

    like the bourbon let you shed the coat you normally wear over it

        so i do not count it wholesale.

if it wasn't that clear a night, nobody told me.

i never know if the exciting kind of tension i feel

    is felt on the other side,

but it felt like we needed a hot knife to cut through it.

every sense, everything,

it all means so much to me.

i never mean to pounce,

to wedge myself in,

to swoop,

to knock you off your feet.

i am here to catch you when you need it,

stand by if you don't.

setlist of wallowing.

    and that's the thing!

    i have met people who are similar enough to me

    to feel a current,

    but with you--

        you cause sparks getting too close to me.

    what the fuck.

if there are such things as kindred spirits,

    you are mine.

if there are such things as soulmates,

        of all kinds,

    you are definitely one of mine.

i would love to hear you explain this through the lens of reincarnation.

your heart is navy blue right now 

and your skin is crosshatched in so many shapes.

take all the time you need,

i'll be here for as long as you want me,

    as long as you need me.