even without long division, it's all quite a bit more complicated, still

un: i received notification of the financial aid awards central is offering me, and which i've recently accepted.

what makes me happy = my mom and i won't have to spend all that much to put me through the next three years (because that is what it will take, due to my having to complete all the core requirements for the BFA in theatre performance, not to mention that i can't decide on a minor, because i will need one: english lit/lang, communications, or foreign language?), and when i graduate and finally move on to the chapter after this next one in my life, i won't be in that much debt. yay for unsubsidized loans (although i still don't know the difference)?

deux: roommate at said post-secondary institution! i might be looking for one...depending on whether e has to live in a certain hall or not...

by the by, if you happen to be reading this, dear, i don't know what's going on, but i'm there. mkay? you and katie were there for my whole domestic-dispute-ish deal...i hope you can somehow still get to wednesday night...

trois: i auditioned for something. again. and again with the not revealing until the casting is done. i want to be involved with this somehow...something else to add to my resumé, which seems to have done most of its growing this year (and i am very pleased with that).

quatre: it's like an hourly graph of the current stock market trends with you, isn't it? i am really hoping i don't have to see you more than wednesday nights. really. i can only be so strong when i am not in your presence.

......bullox.

i have said this many times before, and will say it again, for whoever cares to read this damnéd thing (ooh, shakespearean): i think i'm finally beginning to get over you. i thought i was all those many times before, but because my heart saw no reason to give up on you yet (as in no physical obstacles), it didn't drop it. it's now almost willing to drop you like a hot potato, man, and i say almost only because that tiny corner, fragment, has held onto you for so long it's the reason the hands of my heart are burning.

so,

cinq: il vous en avez un. (was that said right?) there. 

any (if any) readers of this here place can consider whining and lamenting on the subject of you, sir, ultimately ceased unless something drastic 'n' dramatic were to occur.

in which case, i more dread and fear than hope for, these days.

-d