the truck is full of boxes and suitcases and necessities, and my head is full of ingrid and the national

i am nostalgic, i feel bittersweet.
i cried in one, short, four-second burst of tears before heaving a sigh and going to sleep.

i am leaving for the 'burg tomorrow. i can't believe that i will only be an hour-and-a-half or so away from home, and still be homesick (because i know i will be).

two: you, i can't forget, and will probably never get entirely over. but i forgot how good i was at sweeping dust under the rug, and so there i will keep you: not in some precious box with a lock on it, because i would never throw away the key, but under a rug, and there you will remain. for now. until someone steps on the rug.

and you, i almost forgot. obviously what once was is making its way to the surface like some giant, man-eating, freshwater otter, (ha.) and only because i saw you again, for the first time in a long time, and how wacky you are, and how good we could be, but i know i would only want to sit with you on the couch in the one room so i don't have to look at the oddly bulging rug in the other. however....

no need to focus on that, even though i will probably listen to 'boxer' in its entirety once again before gravity wins my eyelids over.

for your reading (and listening, if you have that ability) enjoyment, these next two songs are all i can think of, because they bring to mind everything that has changed me, changed my life, since this year began.

-d