you have me cornered like a cat, which is an ironic statement when it concerns you,

but you haven't beaten me back down yet. completely.

tuesday consisted of hanging out with two of the craziest characters this earth can bear to stand. it also consisted of an almost run-in, in which one such character grabbed what was yours and insist that us two stay in the car.

was he afraid of the wine? was he afraid of the dancing? was he afraid that either of us could relapse? of course, yours being into a more fluid, loosely held character than what is per usual for you; mine being deer-like, with widened eyes and a metaphorically floor-dropped jaw and a lack of the power my tongue has for forming vowel and consonant sounds. he might have been.

he had good reason to believe that my wall against you would fall with a mighty quake (let the earth move, or are we the ones moving?), and i would crumple like ancient parchment against your fingertips brushing my shoulder, nay, your gaze merely sweeping over me, if only over my pitiful face, searching yours (and apparently your glazed eyes) for a glimpse, a particle of the same thing i reluctantly, and yet lovingly, cradle in my heart's arms. which are stronger than my own; limbs of a sapling struggling to not meet the will of the muscled power that lies in every thud echoing through my ribcage,

because when you're around, it seems to be the only working organ, the only useful one, the only one alight, the only thing keeping me from loosing my sense of hearing and yet deafening me at the same time.

i hate you. i like you. i have the skills and palpatations of a melodramatic that need to be quelled and harnessed, in that order.

i am pathetic. i am hesitant. a slightly larger-than-normal spider can have me hovering over its temporary corner with some makeshift weapon in one hand and a jumping mind with skittish strategies to deal with for an hour. imagine the frenzy over you.

-d