Meisner is spinning

I don't know if I can do this anymore.

I'm tired of repeating myself. Like I said, if you want more out of this friendship, this relationship, than I can honestly give, you will drain it. You will drain this relationship dry. If you keep wanting what's next, what's supposedly "better" than this, then you really don't cherish what we already have.

I hate trying to be the full expression of myself and being bulldozed all the time. I hate it. I hate crying over this every time.

If you were truly being honest with yourself, you'd see. But you don't, because you're not listening to me.

Say that I want to be ignorant, but why did you have to ruin this? This was where I was content. We were fine here. And, truthfully, your decision at this point stands as follows: you can choose to quash your feelings and try to patch this up yet again and continue as we were (which I don't recommend), or you can choose to not be my friend anymore, seeing as how you are not content until we are at the next level (which I don't want either). Either way, it looks ruined to me.

Damn it all. As honest as I like to be (and as you like to be), I would've been happy with leaving this alone, but that probably would only have postponed all of this.

I hate this.

On the plus side, while it's as cold as Alaska outside, the falling snow is gorgeous. And, in a way, comforting.