please, i just want to go dancing with my friends tonight.

I want to talk about death.

First, my heart goes out to the people of this valley who knew the young man who ended his own life last Friday. I'd met him and known him only for a few hours, but in those few hours, I knew he was an extremely bright and talented kid--a golden voice and a golden mind.

According to my friend who knew him better in high school, he'd written a note, in French, to his family a month before he actually acted on his wishes.

As someone who's thought about, but never seriously considered, suicide, I can only say that I understand and don't understand, at the same time. Perhaps because of the way I was raised, the things I went through, and the way I already was, I view life as precious, and honestly, the only one I have.

I am truly sorry that you didn't have anything to keep you from going over the edge.

Second...for the guy that always gets a shout-out on this day, I am sorry that I've only thought of you from time to time. And I'm not sorry. Life doesn't stay still, and neither should we, lest we mean to lay ourselves comfortably in our graves of our own volitions. But it doesn't mean you've been completely forgotten. Happy Birthday, man.

I want to talk about death, but I've only ever been alive. So, I guess that ends here.

Now, hopefully the birthday gods will smile on me enough to grant me more than just one small, happy gathering at lunch for a gift. Then again, it will be Chinese...and I've been craving Chinese for so long...

And if there is a God/are gods, please either let it rain or at least give us one day that doesn't go above seventy-five degrees! PLEASE!