back for this / i understand gatsby. i really do.

It's when you feel like you've been gone for years,
And when you feel like you've never left.

When you've missed this.
When they say they've missed you.
When you're already settling into the strange,
                     familiar
rhythm.

When the sidewalks feel right under your soles,
And your feet know where to go,
But when the cracked and crooked cement shifts under you
                     And suddenly, you're a stranger.
                     You're stranger.

When you're haunting,
And when you're haunted.
And also when they hug you,
                     Old flesh, same sinews,
                     New flesh,
                     And all.

When you feel like you could stay.
When you know that you won't.

When you're walking,
                      talking,
                      breathing,
                      seeing,
                         seen,
                      eating,
                      drinking,
                         drunk,
                      laughing,
                      chanting,
                      dancing,
                      collapsing,
                      embracing,
                          embraced,
                      maybe even              
                          kissing,
                          fucking,
                          sighing
                             like a slight breeze;

You know,
When you're a half a ghost,

And you don't mind.

-Dana Winter