april 4, 2014; or, the last of the rose-hues have faded

This is a battle that makes you feel like you're falling,
when you know there are millions on your side,
a great number of them fighting harder than you,

but boy when those arrows fall out of the sky,
wouldn't you know it?
It feels like any amount of running won't get you anywhere.
It's uphill marching
when all you feel like doing is taking your pincushion self
and rolling back down the hill.

Not in the mood to defend myself right now.
Don't have the energy anymore.

But what do you do with the loneliness--
      that comes from--
          no back-up signals from the hand-helds;
          and no turnstall arms to lock you in,
              hush, now, it's okay,
              the birds will fly over,
              the train whistle's sounding--
                  it'll be alright--

what do you do when,
for once,
it isn't happy-anxious hummingbirds lightly pecking at your skull
for that nectar
that's keeping you
from sleeping?

what do you do when you're tired,
but you can't shut your eyes?

what do you do when
the weight
is what's keeping you
awake?

-Dana Winter