voice memos

I looked at the hills across the river and saw a great vertical tunnel spiral of dust raising its arms towards the sky in praise of the wind /
I once saw someone sitting at a bus stop at Fred Meyer / They were smoking / I went inside /
I came back out / Someone else was there / They were also smoking / No / As I got in my car I noticed that they were dabbing at their eyes with a handkerchief /

I will never again be angry at drivers in cars in front of me / when they take right hand corners / A calm panic / too slow / Who's going to feed the cat / Do I have to email the school / A calm panic /
Gospel / Squalor Victoria /

If this is love it feels like the wind tunnel / If this is love I feel like rolling around in the dirt and getting stung by a bee on the heel of my bare foot / because that was my brother / not me / I've never been stung in my life /

Have you ever tried to make your bed in the dark/
Godzilla was your hero / I want you to build me a wooden terrarium we can just sit in / I want that boulevard island for us / I want an escape for all your problems / I want a solution / I want to factor in / I want it to be me / For the first time / I want to hold you / more than I want you to hold me /

This love is looking into dirty windows of abandoned tall grass prairie houses / and using your sleeves to wipe away the grime / This love is screaming out the window and mourning doves scattering from the tree / Because you didn't feed them / This love is willing to look pigeons in the eye / This love is willing to say so even though you said before you were never sure / I am willing to say so / but I need to be absolutely sure /

This is love / This is love / Is this love /

-Dana Winter