Here the rain falls
And here I am, late, again.
And here is the shame, again, but a different flavor
I don’t want this other
I don’t want another question
I don’t want another thing that makes me different
I want to fit in in some ways, y’know?
I want to stand out in some ways but in others just...be normal? Whatever that is?
Othered is hard. I can't even imagine. Or can I now?
I just...have so many questions again. I don't want to disrespect anyone who's felt dysphoria, who's actually gone through the pain of being misgendered and disrespected and even hurt because of their gender.

I dunno...being genderfluid seems too easy, almost? Like, a cool trendy queer label to wear while I figure things out.
But maybe my messing with gender expression isn't just...messing with expression.

I have no idea I don't know I don't fucking KNOW AGAIN I hate HATE NOT KNOWING