day 13: look here

There are some that only turn around when the lion’s mane is out.
There are some that I want to view me as if I’m a new planet,
as if you know you’ve seen me in pictures, but the view this close from the shuttle window is 10x magnified;
you’ve never seen me
heard me
never knew I could do something
like that before.
Awe.
People that--I don’t need their affection--just their awe.

But for this,
I’ve been partially detached so you don’t see me rattling,
if I have any rattle left in me.

One of my best friends told me,
“It’s like stabbing yourself in the heart so you can get the bad blood out,”
and I felt that in my bad blood.
But I’m a fool and do things all in my weird way,
so instead of a few clean lines,
I’ve been a pincushion since the first.

I didn’t get the chance to maim my own leg yet there I was, limping.
I’m back to where I was--if I keep running, if I keep moving, if I keep writing, if I stay up all night and stay tired, if I throw myself down the hill full speed,

I can’t be caught.

So,
breakneck I go.