day 17: words for a fixed point

the vhs rewinder
still at my mother’s house
has a chaotic rhythm
running away from obsoletion
the year i discovered
the a&e version of pride & prejudice
was the year i ruined those six tapes
getting to the end, and starting again
after five or more years, i had to replace them with a dvd set.

the old tv
the giant 6-disc stereo
we didn’t have a dishwasher
until i was an adult--
that house used to be full of things
that worked perfectly well, used until they didn’t.
new is slowly taking over, it’s a weird un/balance.

part of it may have to do with the fact that my mother never had a home in one place for longer than three? four? years until we moved there.

the anchor that i find there:
the outstretched arms from the front porch view
the lilac in the backyard singing that song
the blur of the small tv screen
the old alarm clock-radio in my old room
all of them reminders of what used to hold me fast.
not all good, not all bad--still, all held me.