sweets bat

Still can’t sleep.

Still can’t go to sleep earlier than 6 am. Still can’t wake up ‘til after 4 pm. Today is worse because I just decided to clean out of bunch of useless detritis from my room, re-arrange my bed, fold a bunch of laundry, and pack for home. Won’t be back ‘til the 29th at least, which will, hopefully, be good for my soul.

Thankfully, I have my “The National Sampler for Beginners by Dana” playlist keeping me going. Brother will pick me up in about 3-4ish hours, we’re going to the shooting range with my dad (stress release via a .380 or a 9mm, awesome), and then I go home.

Gonna leave that little sad ball of bitterness behind, and when I come back, it’ll have gotten so bored that it will have already left. Bounced down the stairs and out the door, when Tom finally opens it when he gets home.

So nocturnal. So tired. I hope I don't shoot myself in the foot with the 9mm today.

in the sun, in the rain, in the cold

Stupid elbows. Contact allergy all week. Blech.

The time here at home has been relaxing and stressful all at once. I wish I had another week, to be honest, but I need to make money, and fast.

I have no doubt that as soon as I see you again certain thoughts and feelings will fall back/into place, but right now they're all floating above my head--I know they're there, but I don't quite have the yearning to meditate on them, or digest them, rather.

I realize that this song has been describing me all of my adult life thus far, whether or not it is the dominant situation. "I'll find you..." I'll find something.

I still want to stay here more than I want to return. Oh the comforts of home, and the stresses of life everywhere else.

At least remain close by. That's all I really want from you, in the end.

hometown, you don't know how nice it is to only have a breeze

after only two or three weeks,

i am still extremely happy

to be home.

-d