no inferences here

lately, i've been noticing a change in my appearance. for the past couple of months, i've been getting dark circles under my eyes, which i think might be permanent now. i've been staying up later doing heaven knows what on this computer. i've been getting paler and paler, if that's at all possible in the summertime, and so recently i've taken to using a self-tanner, which has worked wonders on my legs, but because i can't use it on my face, sets an even deeper contrast between the rest of me. the dry, sticky smell of work has been unable to leave me alone; i fear i might need to quit anyway for another reason. my collarbone juts out more, although i eat like there's no tomorrow some days. i'm getting a little lazier at home these days, procrastinating and dragging myself around everywhere.

and yet there's also a significant change in my personality. i'm taking life in larger increments, it seems; i'm trying to spend all the time i have away from work with my friends, my family, my life. just having fun. and i've also noticed that i haven't had a "crush" on a guy for the past couple of months. i'm starting to think heavier thoughts, deeper thoughts.

my father gave me $100 and one of his favorite books for my graduation present: Atlas Shrugged. i've been reading it section by section; the book is huge, but i am enjoying it immensely, just by the mental dilemmas i am forced to cope with in this story. i asked my mom if she'd read it, and she replied no, that my father had always enjoyed Ayn Rand and all that philosophical "stuff", but she'd thought it was too weird. i'm glad i went through Mr. Cadman's class now; it sure helps in the long run.

if i ever get a true epiphany as to what's going on, i'll let you know. but for now, these are just observations.

-d