guess which one i wrote on no sleep, OR a collection of the sparks flying off a campfire that you're always afraid are going to land in your hair

I guess I've always wanted you to think I was as cool as I thought you were,
and still think you are.

But I don't want that to get in the way of being myself around you.

......

I don't want to talk about you too much
I want to keep your name under my tongue and ponder these thoughts beneath my ribs
just in case you need to break something of mine soon--
I can heal the protection in my chest with no one else noticing,
but I can't take back your name from leaving my mouth if I keep letting it out to the ears that will hang onto it

......

when will the trappings of the soul find time to bend

(when will i get to sleep before this long day of flights)

......

Turbulence rocking me to sleep

......

"Would younger you be prouder of the person you are today?"

A of all, fuck that, 17-year-old me knew jack shit.

Secondly, how could she have known what was coming? For the world? For her? How can you blame me?