i need to keep writing.

I want to start a substack/blog where I write about music. I want to write about music sort of in the way a reviewer writes about music, but also not in the way a reviewer or music journalist writes about music.

I'm not sure how to write like a music journalist. Music journalists and reviewers all seem to have experience playing several instruments, or audio tech degrees, or work for a record label, or know music theory, at least. I played violin for the better part of 8 years, from 4th to 12th grade, and I don't think I actually learned what music theory was--I just learned how to play by ear and then how to read sheet music, and after all that, I stopped. After that, I just became a music savant, of sorts.

I've always felt like an explorer, and a student, of music. I've discovered my favorite bands and albums by way of my friend Karma shunting a whole copy of her music library onto my 2007 white plastic MacBook, by way of hooking up with my first guy-who-was-a-big-Radiohead-fan my junior year of college, by befriending other fans of The National and paying attention to the other music they posted about on Facebook or Instagram, and eventually I learned to directly ask people I was interested in knowing (in any capacity) what they liked to listen to. Even in my days as a born-again Christian youth who didn't listen to bands not associated with the church in some way, I still found a way to follow the CD-shaped breadcrumbs down several subgenre paths of contemporary Christian rock before I discovered hardcore straightedge rock as a curious teen.

I guess where I'm going with this is: I don't know if anyone wants to read stuff about albums and artists and songs written by someone who will have to internet-search references mentioned in Pitchfork or Stereogum reviews just to understand them but I talk aobut music all the fucking livelong day to the people in my non-screen life, and I have an iTunes-turned-Apple Music library teeming with playlists, so I'm gonna try to write about it anyway.

I'm especially inspired by Christopher Hooton and David Rapson's work on the first (hopefully not only??) season of the podcast "Coffee & Flowers", not just because it's a deep-dive into my favorite album of all time (Boxer) by my favorite band of all time (The National), but because right off the bat, they said they weren't necessarily going to try to analyze each song on the album as fact, but talk through how it made them feel. It's expertly spliced with segments of interviews with Matt Berninger, Aaron Dessner, Carin Besser, and Peter Katis; it's a love letter to why people write and talk about the music they love, and a love letter to the fans that connect with and are inspired by music as well.

So while I don't have Carin or Matt to text to set up a phone call, or an invitation to visit Long Pond Studio (I wish!), I am going to be taking a leaf out of Chris and David's book and focus on what I know and what I feel, and how I express that, when I hear something I like.

I dunno, man, I've just gotta keep writing. It's 40 minutes past when I told the cat we would go to bed and I'm still writing.

If I can still hear it in my head, I am singing it out loud, as many times over until it leaves my system. This is that but I'm writing about it instead, I guess.